Do I owe Quentin Tarantino an apology or is it the other way around?

You don't read all the blogs I write. I never get around to posting a lot of them. Like the one I wrote last week, skewering Quentin Tarantino for the opening scene of 'Inglourious Basterds'.

After I wrote the blog, I gave the opening scene some thought. And I came to realize that I might have been overreacting. In fact, I might have been wrong. So I took another look at 'Inglourious Basterds' (Sorry, Nora, but I couldn't bring myself to give 'Julie and Julia' a second chance.)

Turns out, there are some fine aspects to 'Inglourious Basterds'. Some of the performances are unexpected and refreshing. One shot in particular is magnificent. And Tarantino did a really good job creating a believable place and time.

On the other hand, I'm disappointed in the story. The premise has so much promise –– a renegade group of Jews who slip behind enemy lines to kill Nazis. And yet none of the promise is realized. The only way we know these guys are Jews is because Tarantino tells us they are. They don't act like Jews, particularly. You could have substituted "vegetarians" or "plumbers" in describing them and none of the dialogue or action would have had to be changed.

As for the structure, Tarantino has a propensity for avoiding the single protagonist, which is fine. That's his deal. But both Lt. Aldo Raine (played, astonishingly badly, by Brad Pitt) and Shoshana (played astonishingly well by Mélanie Laurent) are pursuing the same goal. Structurally, that means that either of them can fail and yet still succeed.

Kind of hard to feel that there's a lot of stake there.

Sure enough, hi-jinx ensue. But the stuff that Tarantino spends so much time and effort crafting doesn't so much move the story forward as serve to show how clever he is. The Jews posing as Italians are caught out not able to speak Italian! And in a movie theater crammed fully of Nazis, no less. How funny! The Nazi Jew-hunter plays a courteous guest in the home of the French farmer sheltering Jews! How long can he keep up the excruciating facade?

It's almost like watching a prequel to 'Hogans Heroes', which if you're too young to remember the show, was a sitcom that took place in a Nazi concentration camp, complete with a lovable, bumbling guard and clever Americans who ran the resistance from behind the barbed wire and just around the corner from the gas chamber and no, I'm not making this up.

Tarantino was nominated for a DGA award, which I'm glad to say he didn't win. But he's also been nominated for an Oscar.

An Academy Award.

The best director –– if you ask me –– is not only the person who makes every aspect of the piece as good as it can be (and that means getting Brad Pitt to learn his lines so he can actually deliver them believably), but also makes the piece appropriate to the subject.

I'm not saying you can't make a comedy about Nazis killing Jews or vice-versa. As a matter of fact, I happen to think 'Life is Beautiful' is one of the greatest films I've seen. What I'm saying is that 'Inglourious Basterds' is a silly little comedy without the depth, pathos, or even character development of 'Dumb and Dumber'. It's a third-grade T-ball champion stepping up to the plate at Fenway and, knowing that he can't even swing at a pitch, deciding to entertain the crowd with a goofy dance.

Tarantino does a lot of things well. And I'd rather sit through any of his films than one of Nora Ephron's. But is this truly Oscar material?

Really?

If you're thirsty, I'm buying.

Just a reminder that tonight is the night I'll be at the Sapphire Hotel in Southeast Portland, sharing my good fortune in winning the Northwest Filmmakers Night. I'll be there around six, and the first $200 worth of drinks are on me.

The Sapphire Hotel is at Southeast 50th and Hawthorne. If you're in the area, please stop by.

Look what I found in New Brunswick!

Every once in a while I come across someone who has It.

I don't know what It is, but I know It when I see It, which isn't very often. This time, it was in New Brunswick, shooting this last job, casting for the role of the daughter.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Marie Michele Vienneau.

She's fifteen years old and until a couple of weeks ago, had never been on a set. And I'll tell you right now she's got what it takes to make it big.

Sure, she's adorable. But what she has goes beyond adorableness. She has a magical combination of confidence and innocence, awkwardness and grace. Mostly, she has a natural ability to make the camera fall in love with her.

I've seen this before. I've cast other people who have It, some of whom have gone on to success. And some who haven't.

Danny Fehsenfeld, the actor who played the lead in 'Burning Passion' has gobs of It –– although his It is more like Kevin Spacey's, an ease on screen that makes you wonder whether he's actually acting. What's weird is that Danny will tell you acting is pretending. And yet with him, I swear acting is being.

Ruthann Lentz has It, too, and I'm not just saying this because she's my wife. In fact, it's kind of the other way around: I fell in love with her because she has It. She hasn't gone on to fame and fortune either, but that's probably my fault for getting her knocked up twice and taking her out of the game for four years.

Which brings me to reality.

People can have It and not make it big. There are other factors. It takes skill and determination and luck and opportunity and timing and connections and hard work on top of It to find success in a business as brutal as film.

When we wrapped, I took Marie Michele aside and gave her some advice. Here's what I told her:

• Learn to speak English like an American. That's where the opportunities are.
• Don't ever do anything that makes you uneasy. If you're okay doing a sex scene or comfortable with nudity, fine, but it must be your choice.
• Don't ever get a boob job. Gwyneth Paltrow and Charleze Theron didn't get to where they are with fake boobs.
• Move to New York or LA if you feel you need to, but don't do it because you feel you're supposed to.
• Find a teacher you connect with and work hard at your craft. Aptitude is not enough. You have to develop your skill.
• Do the acting because you love it, not because you want to get famous or rich.

What I didn't tell her, but wish I did, is that success is hard. Extremely hard.

I sometimes wish I had the power to confer success on people like Marie Michele, Danny, and Ruthann, but to be honest, it wouldn't be fair to them if I could. Success is earned. When it's not –– I'm convinced –– you end up with Lindsay Lohan, who I've never met in person but I'm sure is utterly dripping with It.

I'll be keeping my eye out for Marie Michele. I'd love for her to make it big. And not just because I'd be able to say I found her first.

Sometimes it pays to work with amateurs.

I just finished shooting a job in New Brunswick.

A lot of people I work with couldn't find New Brunswick on a map, which isn't to say anything negative about the place, just that it's not exactly giving Hollywood a run for its money as a hotbed of film production. Let's just put it this way: Ambitious filmmakers in New Brunswick generally move to the big city, and by that I mean Halifax.

I've worked in New Brunswick before, so I know how to adjust. The crews are great. But most of the people who come in for an audition don't bother putting together an acting resume because the only experience on it would be 'Football Player 3' in their high school production of 'Grease' twenty years ago. 

If that.

The spot I was working on called for four roles: a father, mother, son, and daughter.

The father I cast was an absolute pro. He'd worked in larger markets and moved back to New Brunswick because he preferred the lifestyle. But the rest? Two of them hadn't even been to an audition before.

For the son I cast a brash 11-year-old who tagged along to his brother's audition. He talked the casting director into letting him read –– sold her, really –– telling her that even though he was too young for the part, he'd work really hard and do a great job. Our mom had been on one shoot as an extra and thought acting might be fun. And the daughter had taken a few acting classes at the community theater.

Not that there weren't plenty of other, more "qualified" people. Actors with a ton of professional experience, some of it in huge markets like New York and LA. But what I saw in these three was magic. The boy's confidence; the girl's awkward innocence; the sparkle in the mom's eye. Of course, I'd have to work that much harder –– not just in directing each of them, but in educating them to the process.

But I was creating a family and a family –– at least a family of my creation –– is made up individuals who have personality.

Sure, there are times when a line needs to be delivered in 3.2 seconds or a mark hit precisely. But if I have a choice between personality and perfection, I'll take personality, thank you very much.

As it turns out, I got lots of both.

I win! Drinks are on me.

I just heard from the nice people at the Northwest Filmmakers Night. 'Burning Passion' was voted the best film of the competition, both by the judges and the audience.

Yippee!

It would have been nice if the voting had been tallied that night so that I could take my winnings ($200, American) over to the bar and buy beers for people who came out to see the show, but alas, they weren't.

So here's what I'm planning.

On Tuesday, February 2nd, I'm going to be at the Sapphire Hotel –– my newest favorite bar in Portland –– with $200 in my pocket. (The Sapphire Hotel is at Southeast 50th and Hawthorne and if you've never been there before, be prepared. The vibe is great, the staff is friendly, and the drinks are delicious.)

I'll get there around six. If you're in the neighborhood, come by. I'll be buying rounds for anybody who's nice enough to show up, introduce him- or herself, and tell me how much they like my film. That is, until my $200 is gone.

Even if you didn't vote for 'Burning Passion'. Even if you didn't see 'Burning Passion'. Hell, even if you're Nora Ephron.

See you there.

I can't put a price on my head, but I know it's worth more than $60.

I just got back from shooting in New Brunswick, where the temperature was a delightfully crisp minus 15 degrees. And do you hear me complaining?

No you don’t.

The reason? Well, okay, we were shooting inside. But that doesn’t mean I didn’t have to walk from the hotel to the car or from the car to the location. One time, I even crossed an entire parking lot, plus a drive-through lane, to go into an A&W Root Beer Shop to use their washroom.

Hell, I was so comfortable that I walked the entire length of Main Street in Moncton one morning, from the traffic circle on one end almost all the way to the traffic circle at the other. And back.

I attribute it all to the hat you see in the picture. A shearling hat, with fuzzy sheep’s wool on the inside and ear flaps that –– to my eyes –– look a little like wings. Wings of mercy that come down and cradle my delicate ears.

Angel’s wings.

We were shooting interiors, but we could have shot exteriors. I wouldn’t have minded. I was comfortable.

The shoot went great, by the way. And that’s the lesson for today: Shoots go smoother when the director is comfortable.

Some directors take this to an extreme. They have a hard time concentrating if they don’t get exotic fare at the craft service table, nubile assistants of the appropriate gender and eagerness to please, and a coterie of fawning sycophants to stroke their very fragile egos.

For me, on this job, all it took was a hat.

'Burning Passion' lights up the big screen tonight.

This is just a reminder that tonight at 7:00 –– less than 2 1/2 hours from now –– 'Burning Passion' is going to screen at the Bagdad Theater in Portland, Oregon.

If you happen to be around and haven't been totally inundated by films about guys who ejaculate fire, stop by.

And please introduce yourself. Even if you don't like the film. Really.